As I begin to describe self, I have come to realize the disconnect from who I am and who I see. The difficulty in finding the perfect words needed to correctly define who I am have seemed to be of non-existence. If asked to refer to “her” I could quickly form the words, but when asked, “Jamika, who are you?”, silence seems to hit my mind and words seem to scatter like termites when exposed to the light. It seems easier to form words if I am able to speak to myself as if I am someone else, weird concept, but I believe it might just work. With that being said I say:
Dear Jamika,
You are Amazing! I know that life for you has only seemed to exist for the mere need of pleasing others. I know that you have loved so deep, that it crippled you and seemed to stunt your growth. I remember when you wanted to become, but you were afraid to disappoint others.
Jamika, you are AMAZING! I sit back and chuckle at the fact that you must’ve been walking backwards and moving forward all at the same time, because by the time you grasped the concept of looking forward, surprisingly you are a wonderful mother, a great wife, with an awesome career job. You seem to have everything or at least it appears to be but you don’t have YOU! You have been restricted from who you are, but now it is your turn to speak.
I am Jamika! Bare in my nakedness, left to see every flaw, every scar and all of the truth. Embracing EVERY failure and EVERY disappointment. No longer am I walking backwards as life moves forward, but I stand and face the direction of FREEDOM, PEACE and CLARITY.
I AM. . .SIMPLY JAMIKA